Into My Mind

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

......Gay Like Him........

Shame is an interesting feeling to experience or witness. Other times, it's just painful because it could turn into hate and intolerance. In the case of Brad* (not Mr. Pitt!), his shame is present in the form of homophobia, fear and denial of who he really is; a Catholic but closeted gay man.

Brad is an 18 year-old guy that attends church every Sunday, is strongly against gay rights and marriage yet, embraces their culture by watching Ellen Degeneres talk show, Will and Grace, loves celebrity gossip and has a crush on Brad Pitt and listens to teeny bopper music. He is afraid of gays because he is (as he would unashamedly say is "one of them"). Unlike him, they are proud of who they are and have locked the closet that they have stepped out of while he is still hiding in his.

Although he has yet to even "turn the doorknob" the door is made out of glass so those who are close to him see him for who he really is or ignore it. Of course, we must not forget the fact that the God that he praises allegedly condemns him. And the religion he so devoutly practices has openly discriminated against gays and their lifestyles. Clearly, they are not promoting Christian values such as acceptance, tolerance, love, and compassion. Unfortunately, neither has Brad.

Instead of supporting his fellow homosexuals, he judges, and belittles them by embracing their culture but refusing to see them more than "entertainment puppets" for so-called heterosexuals like himself. Sure, his blatant homophobia is a facade but his true self is clearly present. His closet's glass door is slowly cracking and franticly, he is trying to stop it from shattering into a thousand pieces. His efforts are fruitless because slowly but surly his secret is coming out. Eventually, he will accept the truth when he choose to do so. He is a gay Catholic. If his God is everything that the bible makes him out to be, then he will love and accept Brad for who he is. Hopefully, the people in Brad's life will do the same.

There is another guy that is similar to Brad, except he's straight and his name is Brian. Like Brad, he is Christian, against gays and views them as "entertainment puppets" His fear of homosexuals has caused him to be very angry and well delusional. Since he is a Christian conservative, he believes that gays have an "agenda" and are rapidly growing. Ok, they're not growing, they're just coming out at an earlier age. Everyone knows that they only makeup a very small fraction of the population and depsite certain Christian propaganda, homosexuality cannot be taught. Yet, he believes so and wants them our government to forbid them from marrying and adopting children because it will "ruin" society.

Obviously, I'm not gay but I know a homophobia when I meet one. Brad and Brian might as well be the poster boys for all homophobes around the world. Brian views homosexuality as a weakness, being less of a man and heaven forbid he is seen as "Weak" especially being a liberal and all. There's also the fact that he has "daddy issues" too, that doesn't excuse his hatred and ignorance. But I do understand that it is hard to reverse the effects of something that has been so deeply embedded in one's mind, heart and soul. IT IS POSSIBLE! Unfortunately, Brian believes that he is right and doesn't view his intolerance as a fault.

Although there is one characteristic of his that intrigues me. He is a spineless coward, despite being a staunch conservative. Every time we have gotten into verbal spats I am the victor and yes, I always have the last word. The minute my back is turned, his claws come out and he takes a swipe at me and very petty ones to say the least. When I turn around, he is nowhere to be seen. Sounds like someone fights like a diva-bitch! Awww snap, no I didn't!

Much like his idols Ann Coulter and Bill O'Reilly, he makes uninformed opinions about issues that he knows absolutely NOTHING about! The term "acceptance" or "tolerance" are not in his vocabulary because he is so closed minded that his head has a specialized vise around it. Oh and like most Christian conservatives, he hopes that the south will raise again....they lost the war get over it already!

This is the first and last time that I will ever speak of Brian. Do I expect him to stop fighting like a diva-bitch? Of course not! But now, he knows where I stand and hopefully, he'll get the message that I don't deal with diva-bitches. I only fight with real men and it's quite obvious that he isn't.

Much love y'all,


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