Into My Mind

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

....A New Threat to KO and our Nation.....

A sense of dread and worry overcame my mind when I discovered that Keith Olbermann will be doing the show in Los Angeles this week. He is in town to attend GQ's "Men of the Year" party and might I add, the lighting in that studio makes him look even more dashing. I digress, I am concerned for his safety and no, I’m not just talking about psychotic freepers…because there is a new threat to our nation’s security…the LATVS …the Los Angeles Trash Vagina Squad. Encounters/attacks involving these individuals have been happening quite frequently in the past couple of weeks and so, I’m concerned for his well being. With his looks, his must be at the top of their hit list.

Now Paris is the biggest threat. Britney's had c-sections twice so her vagina is not cavernous. And Lindsay, well, she has to spend every waking hour trying to catch up to the notches on Paris's bed post. Anyway, in California, most people drive. But if Ms. Hilton is around then drivers might assume they've driven into tunnel when really.....well, they've inadvertently checked into Paris Hilton. The end result would be utter chaos. Everyone's cars would have to be melted, then they'd have to take contamination showers followed by antibiotics, it's truly a horrifying image to have.

Now I know that Mr. Bush wants a half billion dollars for his library legacy but I really think that all money (that’s if he raises it) should really go into stopping the LATVS, these women (Lindsay, Paris, Britney etc..) and possibly post-op trannies, need to be stopped but more importantly, they need panties. Obviously, I’m not referring to the crotchless or “clear” ones that they claim to wear. A task force is needed…preferably a group of gay men. Perhaps Al-Gayda could form a splinter group.....

Please everyone, don’t misunderstand, I have nothing against vaginas. I have one and it’s treated me well. But there is an appropriate time and place for it to be seen like a gynecologist's office, your lover's bedroom, a beauty salon's waxing room, in front of the camera crew of Girls Gone Wild series, a dirty bathroom stall in a truck stop, the list goes on.

We (the public) should be able to walk the streets without fear of encountering the LATVS. Most of us are not gynecologists, bikini-waxers, nor are we members of the NFL, therefore we do not need to be seeing these vaginas. Together, we can put an end to LATVS crusade. We can be the generation that eliminates this dire problem.



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