Into My Mind

Thursday, March 02, 2006

.......He'll never know........

For the first time, I was reluctant to post an entry. Believe it or not, I am considerate of others feelings. Then after venting to Jamison, I decided to post it. This blog is supposed to bring you into my mind. Names have been withheld and access has been limited but my feelings have not been censored.

The other day, an acquaintance of mine announced that he was getting married and for the most part, I was/am happy for him. Love is a beautiful thing and it's always great when two people want to announce their undying feelings to the world. Then, as I went to bed, I started thinking.

That's when it hit me, he can say "I'm getting married!" and have its every meaning be absolute, since he's white, Christian and straight. Never will he think or say "Well...civil union" or "Not legally" after saying that sentence. He will never realize just how lucky he is to be able say that he's getting married and have it be true, literally and figuratively or how fortunate he is to have that right. And if this were the 1950's it wouldn't be any different since him and his fiance are white. However, I wouldn't be able to marry out of my race.

He has so much freedom and rights; the sad part is, he doesn't even know it. Nor will ever appreciate just how blessed he is to have them. Him and his fiance can walk the streets showing PDA without fear of being heckled or physically attack, or even murdered. They can adopt kids without worrying if their state allows them to. Speaking of kids, they'd be able to divorce or if one of them died, the other would automatically get custody instead of fighting the state to keep their family together. If some tragic accident happened to one of them, they would get to see each other and be able to make important life altering decisions without getting the third degree or bringing it to court. And when they go on vacation, they will never have to explain to the front desk and other vacationers that they're not related.

Their love for one another will never be called sinful because society views them as acceptable, normal. They can walk into 95% of the Christian churches in our country without fear of being turned away for who they are. Neither of them can fathom being persecuted for expressing their love or having to fight for the right to marry because they're in the majority. God, he is..he has it made and he doesn't even know it.

As I thought about this, I cried. I know, it's not the most productive thing to do but I couldn't help it. I'm not gay or bisexual but I am in the minority because of something that I can't change about myself. I know what it's like to be called derrogatory names and to have things thrown at me while I'm walking down the street....because it's happened to me. My tears were not only shed for myself but for everyone who is in the same situation as I am. Because we're the only ones that will understand why this fight needs to be fought, its importance and how everyone that hates us will never realize that we won't ever give up.


  • Never give up fighting the good fight Mrs. D! I find myself totally agreeing with you. Being the white, christian, staight, middle class guy - I still feel that you are right on with all of your points. Cheers to the day when society accepts everyone for what they truly are.....human.

    By Blogger Goonie17, at 5:20 PM  

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